Friday, June 19, 2009

Ode to a Free man

I wanted to wrote a poem about Gordon Freeman awhile ago. For the lulz of course (which is what I always say when I'm afraid someone will take stuff seriously and tell me it sucks). So I did, but it ended up as a rap instead. It's at least packed with Half Life (1) references, that's for sure. It's kinda fragmented, like a bunch of rhymes thrown together. When I feel like it, I think I'll expand it and make it more coherent. 

Ode to a Free man

The first time I saw him, hell, didn’t see him at all
You’d expect there to be mirrors in that dark grey Mesa mall
But yo, whatever right, he’s on the CD-case
So I proceeded down on the railway, in a slow and wary pace

Barney be exclaiming “I’ll buy you a beer”
But his polygon mouth was flat out insincere
Got the .357 and the big ol’ 12-Gauge
That alone should be enough to clear this giant stage
‘Cept there really ain’t no levels in this messed up complex
Just a bunch of “loading” to go easy on ya com-specs

I’m lookin’ through the free man’s eyes
First name Gordon – second; just told you guys
I smash boxes with my “1”, they’re full of supplies
Don’t waste ammo, ya know the crowbar will suffice
Headcrab problems, solved with pistol, be precise

Found some laser trip mines and 15-stack o’ snark
Fuck’s up with them? They SUCK I should remark
Uranium’s what I needed (best be depleted!) - 40’d make it full
Holds hundred, takes tenths, now that’s a bunch of bull

Off to Xen, space-time continuum beware
Got there through “resonance cascade”, whatever, like I care
Nihilanth, ruler of the b-world, crowbar’d in the face
Throwing everything I’ve got, fo shizzle, let’s bail this place
Suddenly confronted by the man with label G
“A nasty piece of work”, an understatement for my spree

Yeah, I’m lookin’ through the free man’s eyes
First name Gordon – second; damn, I’ve told you twice
“Yore dead Freeman” – typo’d sign of my demise
Don’t charge the Gauss too often, good piece of advice
I’ll punch that effin’ G-dude, get a chance at the goodbyes